Marks of a Spiritual Father
4: 14-21
Marks of a spiritual father DIG: How can you tell the difference between a godly disciple or one of wayward behavior and abuse? In what way was Paul like a spiritual father to the Corinthian church? In what way were the Corinthians like his spiritual children? Why would Paul consider sending Timothy, who was so much younger and less experienced than himself?
REFLECT: Have you been a spiritual father or a spiritual mother? If not, why not? Who could you spiritually nurture right now? How does a father show tenderness to his children? How would you like to relate to church leadership in light of these verses? If Paul came to your place of worship would he come with a stick? Or with love in a spirit of gentleness? Why?
This was tough love at its best, coming from a loving daddy who needed to be a firm father.
In his letter to the church at Corinth, Paul has described the spiritual leader and teacher as a servant (3:5), a farmer (3:6), God’s co-worker (3:9), a builder (3:10), a galley slave (4:1), and a steward (4:1). Now, once again, he changes metaphors and describes him as a spiritual father, using himself as an example. The apostle has been stern, even to the point of sarcasm (to see link click Ax – A Faulty View of God’s Gifts), in rebuking the Corinthians sins. But now he tells them why he has been so harsh: he loves them as a father loves his children. He could not bear to see them straying from God’s Word and the fullness of a godly life. He was their spiritual father and therefore doubly responsible for their spiritual welfare. Hence, Paul presents, by implication and pattern, six characteristics of a spiritual father.
He admonishes: I am not writing you this to make you feel ashamed, but to admonish you and get you to change (4:14a). The Greek word admonish, noutheteo, literally means to put in mind, and has the primary connotation of trying to have a corrective influence on someone. To correct without provoking or embittering. It was not Paul’s purpose to shame them. He would leave that to their own consciences. His purpose was to admonish them, to encourage them and plead with them to repent and correct their ways. He did not want to destroy them, he wanted to reclaim them.
Dear Heavenly Father, Praise You for being such an awesome father! Paul followed Your loving example of how You care for Your children – by encouraging and admonishing. Your grace thru our faith gives birth to Your children (Ephesians 2:8-9). Then through trials and situations of many kinds – You lovingly encourage/admonish each child to grow strong in You. You have been distressed by various trials. These trials are so that the true metal of your faith (far more valuable than gold, which perishes though refined by fire) may come to light in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Messiah Yeshua (First Peter 1:4).
Praise You for Your complete forgiveness which is so wonderfully wide and deep – for which we humbly bow in worship of You. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His mercy for those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so Adonai has compassion on those who fear Him (Psalm 103:11). Your love, mercy and forgiveness make You an incredible awesome father! Trials will come but they will soon be over. For I consider the sufferings of this present time not worthy to be compared with the coming glory to be revealed to us (Romans 8:18). Then comes a wonderful eternity of peace and joy with daddy in His holy heaven (Revelation 21:1-4). You are so loved, my wonderful daddy! In Yeshua’s holy name and power of His resurrection. Amen.
It is possible for a parent to correct a child in a way that tears down rather than builds up. Paul warns: Fathers, don’t irritate your children and make them resentful; instead, raise them with the Lord’s kind of discipline and guidance (Ephesians 6:4). Even believing parents can sometimes provoke and abuse in the name of discipline. Abused children are put down with criticism and punishment, but seldom lifted up with praise and encouragement.
A spiritual father must lovingly criticize wrong beliefs and wrong behavior with the purpose of bringing correction and change (Matthew 18:15-20; First Thessalonians 5:14). A spiritual father must not browbeat, humiliate, or judge self-righteously. A loving father does not do such things. But a loving father will always strive to admonish, correct, and even discipline when necessary. He will do whatever it takes (that is right and proper) for the welfare of his children. The tool for this is the Word of God, for all Scripture is God-breathed and is valuable for teaching the truth, convicting of sin, correcting faults and training in right living (Second Timothy 3:16).126
He loves: As my beloved children (4:14b): Beloved is from the Greek verb agapao, which refers to the strongest and deepest kind of love. It is more than brotherly love (Greek: philia, meaning a tender affection). It is a love that is determined and willful, having the one purpose of serving the object of love. Paul had referred to the Corinthians as brothers several times (1:10, 2:1 and 3:1), but now he calls them his children, which represents a more intimate relationship. And they were not merely children, but beloved children, especially dear to their spiritual father. It is clear from what Paul has been saying to them that they were not obedient, morally upright, doctrinally sound, or mature. But they were loved.
A loving father wants to understand his children as deeply as possible. He wants to know where they hurt so that he can help them heal. He wants to know when they are afraid so he can help dispel their fears. He wants to know where they are weak so he can strengthen them. He wants to know their needs so he can meet them. Paul loved the Corinthians in that way. He loved them, understanding their situation and their needs.
A loving father is gentle. Yeshua was gentle and humble in heart (Matthew 11:29), and Paul sought to treat the Corinthians with the meekness and gentleness of Yeshua (Second Corinthians 10:1). Spiritual children, like natural children, grow up slowly. They are not born mature and must be trained lovingly and gently, as well as carefully and sometimes sternly (First Thessalonians 2:7-8). Paul never uses the term “disciples” in his letters. The people in his churches were his children because he loved them.127
He fathers: Here Paul illustrates the uniqueness of fatherhood. No child can have more than one natural father. In the spiritual realm as well, the Corinthians had countless tutors in Messiah, but only one spiritual father. For even if you have ten thousand tutors (Greek paidagogos, referring to home instructors, usually slaves, who were responsible for the basic training and moral upbringing of small children. They were not teachers in a formal sense, but were more guardians and helpers) in connection with the Messiah, you do not have many fathers. And Paul was the spiritual father of most of them. It is important to note here that he was not saying that he was the source of spiritual life, but was the tool used by ADONAI.
For in connection with the Messiah Yeshua it was I who became your father by means of the Good News (4:15). Paul left spiritual children everywhere he visited and ministered. He had founded numerous churches in the province of Galatia, and when he wrote to them he addressed them not only as his brothers (Galatians 1:11 and 4:12), but also as his children (Galatians 4:19). Paul called Timothy his “true child in the faith” (First Timothy 1:2 NASB), and Titus his “true child in a common faith” (Titus 1:4 NASB). The runaway slave Onesimus was the apostle’s child whom he had begotten in his imprisonment (Philemon 10). Everywhere he went Paul led people to Messiah, thereby becoming their spiritual father.
Unfortunately, many believers have never become spiritual fathers (or mothers). They have never produced any spiritual offspring. They have never led a person to Messiah and helped train him in the ways of the LORD. A believer is one who has been given new life in Messiah, and one of the most important characteristics of life is reproduction. Healthy things reproduce. Healthy plants reproduce, healthy animals reproduce, and healthy believers reproduce spiritually. Yet some never do. Every believer should be a spiritual father (or mother), God’s instrument for bringing new lives into His Kingdom.
He sets an example: In case the Corinthians would miss it, Paul takes the father-child metaphor a step further, and in doing so spells out the point of the entire teaching. Since they had but one spiritual father, therefore, the apostle declares: I urge you to imitate me.128 Without a good example, a parent’s teaching cannot be effective. A spiritual father must set an example for his spiritual children, as Paul was careful to do. With confidence, but without bragging, he could say: Imitate me. He could not only say, “Do as I say,” but also, “Do as I do.”
Paul was so successful as a discipler that he could entrust his discipling to those he had discipled. This is why I have sent you Timothy, my beloved and trustworthy child in the Lord. He will remind you of the way of life I follow in union with the Messiah Yeshua (4:16-17a). When Paul says: For this reason, he is referring to the goal of making the Corinthians imitators of himself. To accomplish that, he sent Timothy. What a concept! Paul had done such a complete work as a spiritual father to Timothy, that he could send Timothy to continue discipling the Corinthians on his behalf. He was the Xerox copy.
That is the goal of raising spiritual children: being able to send them to minister in our place. When we are Messiah-like, those we disciple will be more likely to become Messiah-like, and be able to teach others to become Messiah-like. This obviously provides a potentially great multiplication of ministry. Paul loved Timothy and commended him as a faithful child who would bring back to mind the Messiah-like life pattern of Paul, because it was so much like his own life pattern.129
He teaches: And teach everywhere in every congregation (4:17b). We cannot believe truths we do not know, or live principles we have never heard of. A major part of discipling is teaching the Word of God and explaining its truths. In the case of the Corinthian church, Paul had already taught them carefully for a year-and-a-half (Acts 18:11). Timothy’s job was to remind them of what Paul had already taught and the way he had lived among them. Paul had taught the same truths everywhere in every congregation, indicating that he was referring to doctrine rather than some specific advice. Timothy would reinforce those great eternal truths by his own teaching and his own example.
It is not enough to be correct in what we teach; we must also be understandable. When we put aside our degrees, academic accomplishments, and theological jargon, simply speaking the truth in love, we will in every respect grow up those we are teaching to be imitators of Messiah (Ephesians 4:15). If we love those we witness to and disciple, our objective will not be to impress them with our learning, but to help them with theirs.
Yeshua’s teaching was not only the supreme model of power and depth, but also of simplicity (see the commentary on The Life of Christ Hs – The Parable of the Lost Sheep). He put “the cookies on the bottom shelf,” so to speak, so they were easy to get to. The great crowds to whom He preached and taught were composed of mostly common, uneducated folk. Yet, they “enjoyed listening to Him,” or as the Bible says: They listened eagerly to Him (Mark 12:37).
He disciplines: There are times when spiritual fathers, like natural fathers, have to discipline their children. When a believer slips into wrong doctrine, or wrong behavior, he needs correction. He needs to be told in love, but with firmness, “Your testimony is not what it ought to be. You are not living by the biblical principles you have learned. You need to change.” Period. Such confrontations are never easy, but they are often necessary.130
Here, in the context of his own anticipated coming (16:5-9), Paul concludes this long section (see Ai – Divisions in the Church at Corinth) by sounding a warning directly toward the false prophets in the church who were causing problems (see the commentary on Second Corinthians Af – The Problem of the False Apostles). The problem was not simply internal division because they were “playing favorites” with their leaders. Some in the church were decidedly and proactively against Paul.
Although the entire church had been infected, probably to varying degrees, the false prophets were a smaller group among them. It is noteworthy that at the end of this long argument, carried on against the entire church indiscriminately, Paul would at last zero in on the false prophets in particular. The problem, of course, is that they had considerable influence on the entire church, so that the majority are on the side of the troublemakers, or at least being heavily influenced by them. But at the end of the argument, Paul singles them out as the ringleaders and threatens them with his own coming. These are people who have despised both Paul’s authority and his theology. To the degree the church as a whole had tolerated (or adopted) so much ungodly behavior as a result of their subversive activities, they too were at fault.131
When I didn’t come to visit you, some of you became arrogant (4:18). The false prophets thought they could get by with doing whatever they wanted. They may have been so arrogant as to think Paul would not dare confront them. Contrary to what they hoped, however, Paul assured them that he planned a visit to see them again and soon. The fact that he hadn’t come to visit them probably means that he had promised to do so, but had been delayed for reasons beyond his control. Now this was being used against him by the false prophets. Like those at the base of Mount Sinai who were impatient with Moshe coming down from the mountain and built a gold calf (see the commentary on Exodus Gr – Aaron Made an Idol in the Shape of a Calf), the false prophets became idols when they said to the church, as far as this fellow [Paul] is concerned, we don’t know what has happened to him. Causing division among the brothers is one of the seven things that ADONAI hates (Proverbs 6:19).
But Paul drew a line in the sand with his bold statement: I will come – and soon – if the Lord lets me, and then I’ll find out whether these arrogant people just give pretentious speeches or whether they really have God’s power. For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power (4:19-20 NLT). In spite of what the false prophets thought Paul might be afraid to do when he returned, Paul’s first order of business would be to call the bluff of those who were blatant in causing division within the church. Their sinning would not go unchallenged. For their own sakes, as well as the gospel’s sake, he would not fail to discipline them.132
As a result of the problems caused by the false prophets, Paul eventually made a second, quick trip to Corinth to deal with the troubles that were serious enough to require direct personal confrontation (see the commentary on Second Corinthians Ae – Events Between First Corinthians and Second Corinthians). During this visit Paul was personally attacked by one of the false prophets (Second Corinthians 2:5). This visit was a painful visit for both Paul and his spiritual children (see the commentary on Second Corinthians Am – Paul’s Painful Visit).
With one last use of the father-child metaphor. Paul was hopeful that the believing Corinthians, who had been charmed by the lies of the false prophets, would repent and change before he returned. He gave them a choice: Which do you prefer – should I come to you with a stick, or with love in a spirit of gentleness (4:21)? Paul had made his own preference clear. He did not want to shame them, but to admonish them as children whom he loved dearly. This is the mark of every loving father.
However, if he needed to use the stick to shape them up, he would use one! He, of course, did not mean a literal “stick” to beat them with, but an attitude and spirit of strong, painful discipline (see the commentary on Hebrews Cz – God Disciplines His Children). He would deal sternly with their pride; the sin God hates most. But if they responded favorably to his letter, he would treat them with restrained, patient kindness.133 This was tough love at its best, coming from a loving daddy who needed to be a firm father.
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