Do Not Commit Adultery
5: 1-14
A proverb is a short and memorable saying designed to be our blueprint for living in the world that ADONAI has created. It is important to note that proverbs are not promises; they are generally true principles, all other things being equal.
This is the father’s eighth teaching (to see link click Aj – Proverbs for the Youth). There are four key teachings in the first part of the book (2:20-22, 5:1-23, 6:24-35, and 7:1-29), while the second part also has a number of pithy sayings that support the teachings found there (such as 22:14, 23:27, and 30:20). The dynamic of this chapter continues to be a father instructing his son, and here the fact that he is pictured as a young man is very important since the topic is sex outside of marriage.
It’s time we had a talk (5:1-6): My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my understanding (5:1 NASB). The father addresses his concern with all the rhetorical power he can muster because the temptation is so great. An intimate relationship with and outside the bounds of marriage promises great pleasure and satisfaction. But he truth behind the appearance is that it will only result in tremendous pain. So, the father warns the son not to follow his worldly desires, but rather to obey the father’s instruction. If the son does not listen, one day he will deeply regret the ruin he has brought into his life.124 Sex is like fire. In the fireplace, it can warm your family and cook your food; but outside the marital fireplace, it will burn your house down.
Then you will show discretion, and your lips will guard what you’ve learned (5:2 Hebrew). Discretion comes from a Latin word meaning separation. It implies the ability to separate right from wrong and distinguish wisdom from foolishness. The person who has discretion is able to discern the wise course of action in any given situation. The wise person will also guard what they have learned, which reminds us that wise speech is a skill that can be lost if we are not diligent to pursue it.125
This wise father is saying to his son, “Don’t be a lamb to the slaughter. You’re going to be tempted. You’re walking into a world of sexual foolishness. It will be offered to you as honey . . . but watch out, it will poison you. For the lips of an adulteress drip like honey, and her speech is smoother than oil (5:3 ESV). Note the word honey in verse 3 and bitter in verse 4. Honey is sweet. But in the end (Hebrew: acharith) she is as bitter as wormwood (poison), and as dangerous as a double-edged sword (5:4 NLT). There is an old saying, “Honey is sweet, but the bee stings,” and this adulteress has a sting in her tail. So whatever leaves a bitter taste in your mouth cannot be honey. Don’t be fooled. Her words may ooze with seductive charm – face-to-face, on the Internet, in a text message; but her sweet talk and flattery, telling you how wonderful you are and how she’s been looking for a man like you, that “honey” will turn “bitter.” Proverbs don’t allow us to forget acharith, whether for warning or encouragement. It is helpful to study this word, variously translated in 5:11, 14:12-13, 19:20, 20:21, 23:18 and 32, 24:14 and 20, 25:8, and 29:21. Here it utterly reverses the promise: the delicious ends as the disgusting; the soothing, as the murderous. The first smile of verse 3 ends with a bad aftertaste to the conscience. And the next verse shows us that there is more than disenchantment to be faced.
And more than your sexuality is at stake. Her feet go down to death (Leviticus 20:10; Deuteronomy 22:22), and her steps lead straight to sh’ol, spiritually and even literally (see Af – Sh’ol) (5:5 BSB). The Nashville Titans quarterback Steve McNair was shot to death by the woman with whom he was having an affair. The same thing happened to the singer Sam Cooke. Sexual integrity is a life and death matter. Everything you care about is on the line (see the commentary on Deuteronomy Br – Do Not Commit Adultery).126
She gives no thought to her way of life; her ways are unstable, but she doesn’t even realize it (5:6 Hebrew). Having chosen to abandon YHVH and her marriage covenant (2:17) and not observe the way of life, she wanders aimlessly in moral darkness like Cain (Genesis 4:12; Aamos 4:2-3) and Isra’el in the wilderness (Numbers 32:13; Second Samuel 15:20). The unfaithful wife, having no home and no future hope, staggers about in her sin (Jeremiah 14:10; Amos 4:18). The fact that she doesn’t even realize that she is roaming about (4:19 and 2:15) expresses her total moral failure. Lacking external teaching and inner conscience, she can no longer distinguish between right and wrong, and so, with no moral compass to give her any direction to true life, she stays on her path to certain death.127
Here’s what I want you to know (5:7-14): Now then, my son, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say: Stay far away from her! Do not go near the door of her house, for you will wake up one day and realize that you have been exploited by her (5:7-8 NLT). All the examples so far are directed toward young men. I suggest that women readers transform the language to suit their own context. In other words, instead of the honey-lipped woman seducing a male reader, they should read in terms of a sweet-talking man trying to entice them into bed. Young women, therefore, should learn the same lessons and stay away from the adulterous young man: Stay far away from him, and do not enter his house. Verse 8 is the key: Keep far away from her (him)! Don’t tell yourself you can get involved just a little bit and then get clear. No big deal. Nobody will ever know. Some temptations are unavoidable, but there are things we can do to protect ourselves. The person who wants to avoid the lies of the adulteress can begin by avoiding the situations that lead to the temptation in the first place. We see this in the life of Joseph who was tempted to commit adultery with Potiphar’s wife. She begged: Come to bed with me! But unwilling to yield to her, he wiggled his way out and left his cloak in her hand as he ran out of the house half-clothed (Genesis 39:12).128
Or you will give your virility (Hebrew: hovedcha) to others and your years to the cruel one, that is, the temptress herself (5:9 Hebrew). Do you think you can play with sin and keep it under control? Do you think you can compartmentalize God? Sexual foolishness complicates everything. When we disobey ADONAI, our hearts harden. The other people we violate become hardened and embittered toward us, because sooner or later they find out too. That is the point of verses 9-11, the wider impact of sexual foolishness. It depletes a man financially in cover-ups, alimony and lawsuits; socially in his reputation and honor; emotionally in his conscience, and of course, in his marriage. Jealousy, hurt, loneliness, regret – the cost is high. Satan shows the bait, but he hides the hook. He wants to enslave us. In other words, “I’m thirty-six, and I’m already old. All I have left is an STD and depression. Where are my drinking buddies when you need them?”129
Verse 10 uses another word for one’s life force. Strangers will be filled with your strength (Hebrew: koach), which is said to diminish because of his illegitimate sexual activity, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor (5:10 Hebrew). Finally, we see the sad end of this vagabond lover. The wise father warns that if it comes to this, the son will regret his actions, but it will be too late. The public shame will be complete and unchangeable. At the end of your life you will groan when your flesh and your body are spent (5:11 BSB).130
There is only one true Friend for sexual fools. His name is Yeshua Messiah. He wants you to know that your sexuality is a magnificent gift from God, for His glory and blessing. What you are, as a created being, is not fundamentally a problem; what you are, a man or a woman, is fundamentally a privilege. But if you used your cell phone to hammer nails, you would show complete ignorance of a cell phone. Likewise, your sexuality is a powerful, delicate gift from God. You cannot violate His gift without damaging repercussions. So the Lord wants us to know something else. There is a way back to healing, and that way is humility. Notice how his tune changes: And you will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings” (5:12 NLT). I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors (5:13 Hebrew). I was at the brink of utter ruin in the midst of God’s people (5:14 BSB).
The sexually foolish young man finally faces himself. He owns up, like the prodigal son (see the commentary on The Life of Christ Hu – The Parable of the Lost Son and His Jealous Brother). That young man looked at himself and how low he had fallen, and he said, “I am at the brink of utter ruin. But I have a father. I have a home. Why stay here?” So he got up and went home. And while a long way off, his father ran to him and kissed him. The father did not shame him but rejoiced over his return. You may be a long way off also. Maybe you’re stalling. But what are you waiting for? You have a Father. You have a home. The world may pass you by. The world may say you are in the gutter where you belong. But God your Father, because of His shed blood on the cross, is ready to embrace you. Yes, in your rags, in your mess, just as you are right now. Will you come to Him today? He will receive you, rejoice over your return, and renew you. He will give you your virility back, plus more. The Bible says: If anyone is in Messiah, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, and the new has come (Second Corinthians 5:17). God’s Word says: You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of our Lord Yeshua Messiah and by the Ruach Ha’Kodesh (First Corinthians 6:11).131
Dear Heavenly Father, praise You that Your love is more than anyone could ever desire! Your love is steadfast and even better than life as David said: Since Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You (Psalms 63:3). Other loves may look appealing, but they do not have any real depth compared to Messiah’s great and boundless love. What a joy to be filled with Messiah’s awesome, boundless and eternal love! I pray that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to grasp with all the kedoshim what is the width and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Messiah which surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:17-19a).
Being “in Messiah” is the most wonderful relationship that ever could be. It fills believers with such wonderful blessings. Blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Messiah (Ephesians 1:3c). Hope is very important in life. Hope is what anchors the soul and being “in Messiah” is a sure, firm and secure hope. So by two unchangeable things [God’s promise and God’s oath], in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. We have this hope as an anchor of the soul, both firm and steady (Hebrews 18-19a). Thank You for being the perfect Bridegroom who reigns forever. “Halleluyah! For Adonai Elohei-Tzva’ot reigns! Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready (Revelation 19:7). In Messiah Yeshua’s holy Name and power of His resurrection. Amen
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