Reasons for Remaining Single
7: 25-40
Reasons for remaining single DIG: What is Paul’s guiding principle in verses 17, 20 and 24? How does he apply this general rule specifically to those who are single? What advice does he give on how to live in view of the “present stress?” How does his advice in this context relate to his teaching in Ephesians 5:21-32? He suggests that singleness is an opportunity they ought to consider? What reasons does he give for that?
REFLECT: Are you living by Paul’s guiding principle? How? Whatever the Corinthians crisis was, what relevance does this passage possibly have for us today? What kind of advice would Paul give us today? How has singleness or marriage helped you serve Messiah more effectively? Whether you have never been married, are currently married, divorced, or widowed, what is one way you can show your undivided devotion to the Lord this week?
A single person can serve the Lord with a single-minded devotion.
The principle of contentment is one of the most vital dynamics of joyful living in Messiah. An attitude of contentment acknowledges that ADONAI has provided me with everything I need for my present fulfillment. Contentment is the result of focusing on everything that we have with gratitude, rather than dwelling upon what we don’t have with resentment. Contented people are thankful people; discontented people tend to be embittered and angry.
The present stress (7:25-27): Paul acknowledged that he was about to embark upon a subject that Yeshua never addressed. Now the question about the unmarried: I do not have a command from the Lord, but I offer some godly advice as one who by the Lord’s mercy is worthy to be trusted (7:25). At the end of his teaching on this matter, however, Paul informs the Corinthians that he too has the Spirit of God (7:40). Thus, it becomes clear he is God’s mouthpiece. The problem in this case is that he cannot lay down a fixed, universal rule. What should be done depends on individual circumstances.204
I suppose that in a time of stress like the present it is good for a person to stay as he is (7:26). What was this present stress (Greek: ananke)? What is this trouble (Greek: thlipsis) in his life? Paul never uses ananke to describe an end-time phenomenon, even though there is plenty of eschatology in his letters. He uses this word either to describe a compulsion a person is under for a certain type of behavior (for example Romans 13:5; First Corinthians 9:16; Second Corinthians 9:7; Philemon 14), or to denounce some persecution or hardship connected with his ministry (for example Second Corinthians 6:4, 12:10 and First Thessalonians 3:7). Moreover, in general, Paul uses thlipsis for personal suffering and persecution (for example Romans 5:3; Second Corinthians 1:4, 6:4; First Thessalonians 1:6, 3:3 and 7). Finally, the word Paul uses for present here generally points to that which is present in contrast to what is yet to come (for example Romans 8:38; First Corinthians 3:22 and Second Thessalonians 2:2). Again, what was this time of stress?
We know from the book of Acts that Paul experienced many troubles in his ministry. Furthermore, some of his churches suffered at the hands of enemies as well (notably the church in Thessalonica in Acts 17:1-9; First Thessalonians 1:6-10 and 3:1-5). Paul knew that such pressures could easily move south to Corinth, and he was fearful that they might. And he also knew that during such times, those who were married would have a much more difficult time emotionally because of family concerns, than those who were single. Consequently, Paul recommended that people remain single. He is speaking here with the heart of a pastor, addressing the well-being of his flock (Second Corinthians 11:28-29). That means that if a man has a wife, he should not seek to be free of her; and if he is unmarried, he should not look for a wife (7:27).205
The problems of married life (7:28): Paul recognized that there would be married couples in Corinth reading his letter, and even though he demonstrates a strong preference for celibate singleness, he does not look down on the institution of marriage. But if you marry you do not sin, and if a girl marries, she does not sin. It is just that those who get married will have the normal problems of married life, and I would rather spare you (7:28). Of course, it is not sinful to marry. But the sea of matrimony is rough, even under the most favorable conditions.
Dear Heavenly Father, Praise You for being such a wonderful Husband! For your Maker is your husband – Adonai-Tzva’ot is His Name – the Holy One of Isra’el is your Redeemer. He will be called God of all the earth (Is 54:5). Marriage relationships are important, but the most loving relationship of all is having You as our husband (2 Cor 11:2). When we live our lives to please You as number one in our lives, it brings such great peace and comfort. Though the world may be swirling out of control and other circumstances and relationships are crashing around us – yet with You as our husband to whom we are united (Rom 6:5), we can rest in Your loving arms and put our problems and trials into Your hands. It is so comforting to trust You, our Father and the one we love as our husband, for You are always there to help and to guide us. Since You are my rock and my fortress, You lead me and guide me for Your Name’s sake (Ps 31:4). You are the perfect husband. In holy Yeshua’s name and power of His resurrection. Amen
Our crises today are not exactly the same as the one faced by the Corinthians. Ours is a time of moral uncertainty, and that fact is undermining the efforts of many to build godly marriages. The failure of so many marriages, even within the church, is causing many young people to have doubts about ever getting married. With this in mind, I can imagine Paul writing to your Messianic synagogue or church and saying, “Because of the present stress and problems of the flesh, I have several bits of advice. First, don’t marry so young but take time to grow up. Second, make sure you marry the right person, someone with common interests, common goals, common values, and a common faith in God. Third, before you marry, be sure you know what marriage is, instead of using the pagan concept of ‘romantic love,’ discover all the richness of God’s ideals for marriage. Fourth, understand that it takes work to make a good marriage. The present pagan world will keep on trying to undermine your relationship. Finally, draw from all the resources of your immediate family, and your synagogue or church family for strengthening your marriage.”206
The passing of the world (7:29-31): What I am saying, brothers, is that there is not much time left (7:29a). When Paul uses the word time here, it is not the Greek word for chronological time (chronos), but for qualitative time or opportunity (kairos). It is not so much that Paul senses the imminent return of Messiah from heaven; rather, he knows that in the total time scheme of God’s history of salvation there is only one event left to occur, and we should live in readiness for that event.207
Believers are to have a totally new perspective to their relationship to the world. This perspective is given in the form of several illustrations. Taken literally, these illustrations become absurdities, not to mention contradictory, to what Paul has clearly said about marriage (7:2-6), and what he will elsewhere say about rejoicing and mourning (Romans 12:15). Therefore, these illustrations are not to be taken literally; this is hyperbole, pure and simple. The question is, “What is the point of such hyperbole?”
What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them (7:29-31a). These clauses show some similarities with both Stoicism and Jewish apocalyptic. But Paul is advocating neither the Stoic’s “aloofness” from the world, nor the apocalyptist’s “escape” from the world. What he is calling for is a radical new stance toward the world. Messiah’s death, and resurrection have changed things for us. Just as in Messiah, the slave is a free person, and the free person is a slave, we do not live “detached” from the world, but we are totally free from its control. We live our lives like everyone else – marrying, mourning, rejoicing, buying, and making use of it – but none of these determines our lives.208
What point is Paul making? Using hyperbole, Paul is saying that being married or single is not the crucial question. Buying things and using them is not the most important thing in life. He is saying don’t get caught up in, or distracted by, the cares and emotions of this world; for this world in its present form is passing away (7:31b). In Messiah’s death and resurrection YHVH has already determined the course of things, and this world, in its present form, has already been brought under God’s judgment. As a result, as far as your life goes, there is not much time left (7:29a). So, get busy doing the Lord’s work.
The preoccupations of marriage (7:32-35): This section is the heart and soul of Paul’s reasoning. A single person can serve the Lord with a single-minded devotion. Without a spouse and children to care for, one who is single enjoys a mobility that a married person cannot have. Those who are single should enjoy to the full the freedom that comes from not having to meet the needs of an immediate family, and should use their freedom to serve the Lord without the distraction of a family.209
What I want is for you to be free of concern. An unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord’s affairs, with how to please the Lord; but the married man concerns himself with the world’s affairs, with how to please his wife; and he finds himself split. Likewise, the woman who is no longer married or the girl who has never been married concerns herself with the Lord’s affairs, with how to be holy both physically and spiritually; but the married woman concerns herself with the world’s affairs, with how to please her husband. Married believers should not feel guilty about being married and single believers should not feel guilty about being single. Marriage does not prevent great devotion to the Lord, and singleness does not guarantee it. But singleness has fewer hindrances and more advantages. Lest there be any confusion about why he was explaining these things to the Corinthians, he said: I am telling you this for your own benefit, not to put restrictions on you – I am simply concerned that you live in a proper manner and serve the Lord with undivided devotion (7:32-35).
The promises of the fathers (7:36-38): Apparently some of the believers in Corinth were asking, “Should fathers arrange marriages for their daughters, or let them choose who to marry?” During biblical times, marriages were arranged, usually by the father of the bride. It seems that there were some dads in the congregation who, out of devotion to ADONAI, dedicated their daughters to the Lord’s work as single servants. Their intentions were commendable. If their daughters agreed, so much the better! However, what if the daughter, as she grew up, did not agree to remain single for her entire life? She wanted a family, a husband and children. What was a father to do? Having dedicated her to the Lord’s work, should he refuse her desire and keep her single? Or should he violate his commitment and give her away in marriage?210
If anyone (her father) thinks he is not treating his (unmarried virgin) daughter properly, and if she is past the flower of her youth (if she is now of marriageable age), or if her passions are too strong (and she really wants to get married), and he feels she ought to marry because she didn’t possess the gift of singleness (7:7), he should not feel obligated to his previous commitment. He is not sinning. He should let her get married (7:36). But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, that is, does not change his mind about the promise, who is under no compulsion by the daughter to change his mind; but has control over his own will (and has a good and pure motive), and is deeply committed (who has made up his mind to keep his virgin daughter unmarried) – this man also does the right thing. So then, he who gives his virgin daughter in marriage does right, but he who does not give her in marriage does better (7:37-38 NIV). Once again, Paul is saying that being married or single is not the crucial question. The main thing is serving the Lord.
The permanency of marriage (7:39-40): Marriage is one of the few choices that we make in life for which there is no exit strategy except the death of a spouse, over which we have no control; or a divorce, which causes enormous heartache for everyone involved. Given that reality, singleness should be, for some, a viable option. A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if the husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, provided he is a believer in the Lord (7:39). There is no doubt that a believer is to marry a believer (see the commentary on Second Corinthians Bi – Do Not be Unequally Yoked with Unbelievers). But must a Jew marry a Jew (Deuteronomy 7:3; Judges 3:6)? Only if she wishes. May a Jewish believer marry a Gentile believer (Ephesians 2:14)? Only if she wishes. She is free to marry anyone she wishes. A marriage between Jewish and Gentile believers demonstrates to all the unity of Jew and Gentile in the Body of Messiah. But if she chooses to restrict her marriage pool to other Jewish believers, she testifies to the Jewish community that she wants to preserve the Jewish people, and that Messianic Judaism does not imply assimilation (see the commentary on Ezra-Nehemiah Bo – Ezra’s Prayer about Intermarriage).211
Just like Paul’s own celibate singleness, and the value it had for dedicating service to the Lord, Paul expresses the same for the widow contemplating remarriage. However, my advice would be that she will be happier if she remains unmarried, and in saying this I think I have God’s Spirit (7:40). All this was sound advice, but only advice. Ultimately, when it comes to matters of singleness and marriage, each believer is free before God to make up his or her own mind as God leads them.
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