Cs – Closer than a Brother 18:22 to 19:23

Closer than a Brother
18:22 to 19:23

A proverb is a short and memorable saying designed to be our blueprint for living in the world that ADONAI has created. It is important to note that proverbs are not promises; they are generally true principles, all other things being equal.

A. Poverty, wealth, and friends (18:22 to 19:7): After an introductory proverb about the man and his wife, 18:23 to 19:7 are about the moral uncertainties of wealth. The rich attract friends, but the poor person loses them. Words for the poor person occur as bookends of this unit in 18:23 and 19:7, as well as 9:1 that introduces the subunit of 9:1-3, and 19:4, that introduces the subunit of 19:4-7. The other key word is “friends,” meaning people who pretend to be a friend, but actually are not. The connection of these three sub-units suggests that the “friend” in view is not wise; they can be bought (18:23, 19:1-3, and 4-7), and it is foolish to depend on them (18:24). The poor person’s only hope is to find a true friend who sticks closer than a brother among the wise. The reference to seeking favors of a nobleman in verse 6 prepares the way to wisdom in the court and in the home (19:8-15).³⁷¹

Introduction (18:22): He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from ADONAI (18:22 CJB). The book of Proverbs as a whole has much to say about the right woman, though much of the teaching is about avoiding the wrong woman, and is primarily found in Chapters 5-7. This particular verse underlines the importance of a good wife by claiming that she is a divine gift. The difference between a good wife and a seductress reflects the difference between the figurative language of Lady Wisdom and Madam Folly (to see link click Br – Lady Wisdom and Madam Folly). Finding a good woman anticipates the final pages of the book (see Dy – Wisdom for Women).

Wealth and pseudo-friends (18:23-24): The poor plead for mercy; the rich answer with insults (18:23 NLT). One’s social status determines the tone of one’s voice. The contrast is between the poor and the rich man. The poor man pleads for mercy because he has no choice but to ask. The rich man, however, often spews insults as he has hardened himself against such appeals because of relentless demands.³⁷² Other proverbs condemn the rich man for making wealth his fortress. For example: The rich man’s wealth is his fortress, but the poverty of the poor is their ruin (10:15). These are not unrelated. Since the rich man’s own security depends on his wealth, not on ADONAI, he must defend his fortress against their cries. The poor have no choice but to speak pleadingly, but the rich have an option how to answer and so are held accountable. By contrast, God hears the pleas of the needy (Psalm 28:2 and 6, 34:6 and 15, 116:1), and the B’rit Chadashah teaches: Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy (Matthew 5:7).³⁷³

Some “friends” pretend to be friends, but a true friend sticks closer than a brother (18:24 CJB). You might have many “pseudo-friends” who will let you down, even when everything is on the line. But you can also have one Super-Friend who sticks closer than a brother. When Paul was put on trial before Caesar, all of his so-called “friends” abandoned him. But that was okay with the apostle. He was not even angry. Why? ADONAI stood by me and strengthened me (Second Timothy 4:17). Proverbs 18:24 is saying, true friends are not found in quantity but in quality. And no one offers us higher quality friendship than Yeshua Messiah. C. S. Lewis, in his essay on friendship, says that a new friendship starts out like this, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” Friends do not need to be alike. They just discover how much they have in common. Guess what you have in common with Messiah? Everything you care about the most. He cares about you. He cares about your sin. He cares about your future. He thinks about you. He understands you. He loves you. You are not alone. He is here. You can talk to Him right now. Will you let the eternal friendship begin for you today?³⁷⁴

The Bible says that Messiah died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that He was buried, that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures (First Corinthians 15:3b-4). If you believe that and have never asked Yeshua to be your Lord and Savior would you pray this simple prayer today: God, I admit that I have sinned. I believe Jesus Christ died for my sins, and I want to trust Him to save me right now. It is important that you understand that repeating this prayer does not save you. It is only faith in Messiah as your Lord and Savior that saves you. Now you need to find a good messianic synagogue or church that teaches the Word of God faithfully so you can grow in your faith and have fellowship with other believers. Why should ADONAI let you into His heaven? That’s right. Messiah died for all your sins . . . past, present and future!

Wealth and ethics (19:1-3): The unit now turns from the friendless poor to the spiritually worse-off wealthy, escalating the latter’s unethical behavior against his neighbor. His lies (verse 1) and his greed (verse 2), to his own downfall and continued anger against God (verse 3). Verses 1 and 2 form a proverb pair connected by the theme of what is not good, involving the catchword tob, meaning pleasant, agreeable, or good, by characterizing the wealthy sinner by his misuse of his lips and feet.³⁷⁵

This proverb continues the topic of the poor man and his speech (18:23), but turns from his failed social relationships to his successful ethics. Better (Hebrew: tob) to be poor and honest than one whose lips are crooked and is a fool (19:1 Hebrew). “Better-than” proverbs communicate relative values. The sages would certainly say that it was better to have some wealth, if not be rich, than to be poor. However, ethical qualities are more important than material possessions. This proverb affirms the principle that folly is an ethical concept. Fools are not only dull minded and do stupid things, they are also evil people. Specifically, according to this proverb, they tell lies (whose lips are crooked)

Also, it is not good (Hebrew: tob) for a person to be without knowledge; how much more will the one who hurries [with his feet going] down the wrong path (19:2 Hebrew). This proverb reminds us of the well-known English saying, “Haste makes waste.” If one is impulsive, not thinking before acting then one is going to commit errors.³⁷⁶ To hurry down the wrong path means to miss the way or the goal (Judges 20:16; Job 5:24; Proverb 1:10). This points to a lifestyle that fails the standard of conduct demanded of Ha’Shem, a crime that deserves His punishment (11:31, 13:6, 14:22). Proverbs 20:2 declares: The king’s fury is like a lion’s roar, to rouse his anger is to risk your life. In that light, how much better is the poor person who walks in total dedication to ADONAI and His teachings than a condemned sinner who enriches himself through lies.³⁷⁷

The foolishness of a man ruins (Hebrew: tesallef, meaning to twist, pervert, or overturn) his path, but then he gets angry at God (19:3 Hebrew). The fool gets it backward. Instead of repeating the sins that caused his own ruin, the fool is so convinced that his sinful way of life is right that he gets angry at God, holding Him accountable for not getting what he foolishly wanted. The feet that were made to go straight, walks so crookedly that his tracks can only be traced with a corkscrew. ADONAI missed none of this and will see that justice is done.³⁷⁸

Wealth and friends in court (19:4-7): The final subunit in section A. Poverty, wealth, and friends, returns to the moral uncertainty of “friends” and wealth, with a particular focus on the king’s court and noblemen. Verse 6 elaborates on the notion of 18;24 that wealth attracts “pseudo-friends,” and verse 7 develops the idea of 19:4b that the poor lose even their close friends.³⁷⁹

Wealth makes many “friends,” but the poor drive them away (19:4 NLT). Everyone wants to be a friend of the rich, but no one wants to associate with the poor. The poor, after all, have problems and may need help or even generous gifts to survive, whereas the wealthy at least give the appearance of being able to help. Indeed, Qoheleth, the Teacher of Ecclesiastes, understood that wealth attracts people, but also made it clear that these “friends” were leeches. The more you have, the more people come to help you spend it. So what good is wealth – except perhaps to watch it slip through your fingers (Ecclesiastes 5:11 NLT)!

A false witness will not go unpunished (see the commentary on Deuteronomy Bt – Do Not Give False Testimony), whoever breathes out lies will not escape (19:5 CJB). The teaching in Proverbs on lying in court is extensive (especially see 6:19, 12:17, 14:5 and 25, 19:9, and 21:28) and clear. This particular verse emphasizes the certain negative fate of those who engage in such speech. Though the primary setting is clearly legal, the principle applies to all speech.

Many seek favors from a nobleman; everyone is a friend who gives gifts (19:6 Hebrew). The proverb is in the form of an observation. People present themselves positively to those from whom they expect to gain favors. Noblemen are usually wealthy and have positions of influence, and thus people are nice to them, at least to their faces, hoping to gain favor. The same is true with anyone else known to bring gifts. This verse makes a similar point to 19:4: Wealth makes many “friends,” but the poor drive them away.

The relatives of the poor despise them; how much more will their “friends” hate them! The first two cola are quite clear in meaning and in keeping with the message of 19:4. No one likes to be around poor people, not their relatives nor their “friends.” Though the poor plead with them, their friends are gone (19:7 NLT). The poor are too much trouble, and they are no help to others. Neither their relatives nor their friends are there when the poor try to speak to them about their problems.³⁸⁰ It is important to note that proverbs are not promises; they are generally true principles, all other things being equal.

B. Wisdom in the court and in the home (19:8-15): The addition to the noted links between the first two subunits (18:22 and 19:7) the repetition of 19:5 and 19:9, the contrasting of hate at the end of the first (19:7) and of love in the second (19:8) also ties them together. Although the poor is hated by everybody and not presently experiencing “good,” yet by keeping these teachings, he will preserve his life and is better off than the fool.³⁸¹

Introduction (19:8): Those who acquire “heart” love themselves; those who guard competence find good (19:8 Hebrew). This observation serves as motivation to work at acquiring wisdom. “Heart” implies character, in my opinion. Many scholars believe that “heart” points specifically to one’s mind, and certainly parallel with competence, a word formed from the verb to understand would help support this idea. However, the second colon does not provide an exact parallel to the first colon but, rather, more carefully details the meaning. Thus, I understand the first colon as saying that those who want to improve their character want the best for themselves, and the second colon as more specifically talking about one aspect of character: competence, practical knowledge.³⁸²

Wisdom in the court (19:9-12): These verses pertain to the public arena, beginning with the punishment of the false witness (verse 9) and ending with the king’s wrath and favor toward all (verse 12). Verses 11 and 12 are a proverb pair commending patience and restraint with wrath. Verses 9 and 10 are linked by lo (Hebrew: not) and pertain three things that are not appropriate: false witnesses are not acquitted (verse 9), fools do not live in luxury (verse 10a), and indentured slaves do not rule over princes (verse 10b).

A false witness will not go unpunished, whoever breathes out lies will perish (19:9 CJB). Perjury is the first folly that must not be tolerated to acquire good. This is emphasized by repeating 19:5: A false witness will not go unpunished, whoever breathes out lies will not escape. The only difference is that it replaces the positive: will perish (see 10:28), with the negative: will not escape. The contexts of the subunits probably assume that YHVH is the ultimate Sovereign who upholds justice through His proxy king (verse 12). Repeating the sequence of 16:1-9: Dependence on ADONAI, and 10-15: The king’s respect.³⁸³

It isn’t fitting for a fool to live in luxury, and even less for a slave to rule over princes (19:10 CJB). Solomon had a definite sense of what was appropriate in terms of social arrangements. From the perspective of wisdom, the first colon is obviously true. It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxury. However, that such a comment needed to be made alerts us to the fact that he knew that sometimes fools did live in luxury. The second colon seems to indicate a certain rigid idea of social stratification. Slaves serve. They do not rule, and if they did, it wouldn’t turn out very well. This teaching is similar to that found in Ecclesiastes 10:5-7, which also comments negatively on the reverse situation – kings, nobles, and the wealthy having low social positions.³⁸⁴

People with good sense are slow to anger (patience), and it is their glory to overlook (show restraint) an offense (19:11 CJB). Church father Augustine of Hippo (354 to 430 AD), said, “Anger is the seed; hate is the tree.” Anger is a dangerous emotion that is easy to start and hard to stop. In many ways, anger is the opposite of love. Paul says love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (First Corinthians 13:4-5). But anger is impatient and unkind. It is exceedingly jealous and proud. Angry people are often very rude. Anger stems from selfishness and keeps a strict record of wrongs.³⁸⁵ Those with wisdom avoid conflict. Here they do so by controlling their emotions. Sometimes when responding to an annoying offense, people make more trouble for themselves than is necessary. The phrase, “Making a mountain out of a mole hill” comes to mind. Therefore, the wise are not quick to respond angrily to someone. ADONAI Himself is slow to take offense (Exodus 34:6 and Micah 7:18).³⁸⁶

The king’s rage is as terrifying as a lion’s roar, but his favor is like dew on the grass (19:12 Hebrew). Amos found the height of uncontrollable fear in the sudden roar of a lion (Amos 3:8). Lions were at home in Palestine from earliest times to the end of the Crusades, about 1200 AD. Samson (Judges 14:5), David (First Samuel 17:34-35), and Benaiah (Second Samuel 23:20) all fought with them. The second colon of this proverb doesn’t contrast the animal world, but from weather. The king’s favor is compared to the dew that refreshes the grass and all other vegetation. Between the rainy seasons, the impact of dew in Palestine is absolutely essential to the growth of grass for grazing animals and leafy vegetables for the people. Oh, how good, how pleasant it is for brothers to live together in harmony. It is like the dew of Mount Hemon that settles on the mountains of Tziyon. For it was there that ADONAI ordained the blessing of everlasting life (Psalm 133:1 and 3).³⁸⁷

Wisdom in the home (19:13-15): The setting now shifts from the public arena (19:9-12) to the private home. Verses 13-14 pertain strictly to the home: son and wife (verse 13) and wealth and wife (verse 14). Verse 13 presents a dysfunctional home; a foolish son, a man’s closest male companion (10:1, 12:1, 15:20 17:21 and 25), and a nagging wife (21:9 and 19, 25:24, and 27:15), a man’s closest female companion. Verse 14 presents a functional home; his household and property and prudent wife. The son who squanders the family inheritance (verse 13a) and the contentious wife (verse 13b) stand in contrast to the father’s inheritance and prudent wife (verse 14b).³⁸⁸

A son who is a fool, is his father’s ruin; and a nagging wife is like dripping water that just won’t quit (19:13 Hebrew). This proverb combines two concerns individually addressed in other proverbs. The perspective is that a father deals with two important relationships. On the one hand, a son who makes foolish decisions is a disaster to the father (10:1). After all, a foolish son ends up in all kinds of trouble that affects the father greatly because of his love for his child. The second intimate relationship that can be the source of annoyance is his wife (21:9 and 19, 25:24). Nagging here likened to the torture of dripping water. It is not an overwhelming force, but it can wear one down.

A house and wealth are inherited from ancestors, but a prudent (1:14) wife is from ADONAI (19:14 CJB). Good things (a house and wealth) come from ancestors, but this is nothing compared to the gift that can only come from ADONAI: a wise wife. This proverb balances the previous one, which speaks of a nagging wife. Proverbs do not pick on women as women, only on those who disrupt social harmony in the family. Proverbs reserves its highest praise for virtuous women (see Dy – Wisdom for Women).

Lazy people sleep soundly, but idleness leaves them hungry (19:15 NLT). This proverb is one of a series of sarcastic statements about laziness (see Dk – The Lazy Person). Solomon believes that the lazy person has adopted a foolish strategy for living, which will lead to their own demise. Here, the lazy person would rather sleep than work. Not even their hunger will motivate them to go out and work. They’d rather starve to death.³⁸⁹

C. Educating the son to show kindness to the needy (19:16-23): The educational proverbs in verses 16 and 23 frame the third subunit. Both mention the reward of life (verses 16a and 23a), but 23b enhances the father’s command (16a) to fear ADONAI. The subunits’ core, verses 18-21 consists of two pairs of child rearing proverbs. To reach the educational goal it requires hard discipline (verses 18-19). The unit is punctuated with sayings about ADONAI (verses 17, 21, and 23), who upholds a moral order that rewards the kind with abundant life (verses 17 and 23) and that punished the ruthless with death.³⁹⁰

Introduction: keep the father’s commandment to live (19:16): He who keeps the mitzvot (guidelines) keeps his life, but he who doesn’t care how he lives will die (19:16 Hebrew). The mitzvot of ADONAI are protective. Whether in the TaNaKh or in the B’rit Chadashah, the guidelines of ADONAI are intended to keep us safe.³⁹¹ Keeping the mitzvot of the Torah as well as keeping the advice of the father allows one to live life in a way that minimizes the possibilities of premature death. However, death will come to those who ignore the strategy of wisdom living.

ADONAI will reward kindness to the poor (19:17): If you are gracious to the poor, it’s as if you lent (whatever you gave them) to ADONAI, and He will repay you for your good deed (19:17 Hebrew). This proverb uses the metaphor of credit to commend generous behavior to the poor. To give to the poor is like a loan to God Himself, who will reward those who do it. It suggests that the main type of gracious behavior in mind is in terms of material goods. Those who give food to the poor will find their own material possessions increase, though it is possible that other nonmaterial rewards are also included (see the commentary on Deuteronomy Cy – The Year of Release).

Warnings to the father to discipline his son and the hothead (19:18-19): Discipline your child while there is hope, but don’t lose your head and get so angry that you kill him (19:18 CJB). Discipline, a term that implies physical punishment, is the key to wisdom. Children are not naturally wise but must be trained in wisdom. The sages put a lot of emphasis on the urgency of instructing the young in the ways of wisdom. If they are allowed to grow old without being influenced by wisdom, then they will end up being fools, and folly leads to death.

A hothead must pay the penalty. If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again (19:19 NLT). This proverb makes an observation about people who are normally angry. They grow angry and bring people’s resentment on themselves. The observation is actually addressed not to those who cannot control their anger, but to those who try and help them get out of their arguments/fights. It is a reminder that the problem is habitual. Perhaps the implicit message is not to try to rescue such people; like the fool who does not deserve a response (26:4), the angry person should not be helped.

Warnings to the son to accept his father’s discipline and counsel (19:20-21): Listen to advice, and accept discipline, so that in the end you will be wise (19:20 CJB). Becoming wise is not an overnight or an automatic thing. One must listen to other wise people and accept their correcting instruction. Over time, then, a person grows in wisdom. This proverb may seem most naturally addressed to the young men and women at the beginning of their life-long sanctification process, but it can be followed by even the most mature.³⁹²

You can make many plans, but ADONAI’s purpose will prevail (19:21 NLT). This thought is similar to that in Chapter 16 (see Cn – We Plan, but God Determines Our Steps). This discourages the idea that human strategy can lead to success. We must depend on God. Nevertheless, ADONAI has given us free will, so, to that end, we should develop a purpose statement, or a statement that summarizes God’s purpose for your life. As Rick Warren describes in his book, The Purpose Driven Life, it’s not a list of goals. Goals are temporary, purposes are eternal. His plans endure forever; His purposes last eternally (Psalm 33:11 TEV). It’s a statement that points the direction of your life. Writing down your purposes on paper will force you to think specifically about the path of your life. Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground (Proverbs 4:26 CEV). It’s a statement that defines “success” for you. It states what you believe is important, not what the world says is important. It clarifies your value. Paul said: I want you to understand what really matters (Philippians 1:10 NLT). It’s a statement that clarifies your roles. You will have different roles at different stages in life, but your purposes will never change. They are greater than any role you will ever have. It’s a statement that reflects the unique ways God made you to serve Him.

Take your time writing out your life purpose statement. Don’t try to complete it in a single setting, and don’t aim for perfection in your first draft. Just write down your thoughts as fast as they come to you. It’s easier to edit than to create. Also write down any scriptures that come to mind as you are writing Here are five questions you should consider as you prepare your statement.

1. What will be the center of my life? This is a question of worship. Who are you going to live for? What are you going to build your life around? You can center your life around your career, your family, a sport or hobby, money, having fun, or many other activities. These are all good things, but they don’t belong in the center of your life. None are strong enough to hold you together when life starts breaking apart. You need an unshakable center. You need to put Messiah at the center of your life.

2. What will be the character of my life? This is the question of discipleship. What kind of person will you be? God is far more interested in what you are than what you do. Remember, you will take your character into eternity, but not your career. Make a list of the character qualities you want to work on and develop in your life.

3. What will be the contribution of my life? This is a question of service. What will be your ministry in the Body of Messiah? Knowing your combination of spiritual gifts, heart, abilities, personality, and experiences, what would be your best role in the family of God? How can you make a difference? Is there a specific group that I’m supposed to serve?

4. What will be the communication of my life? This is the question of your mission to unbelievers. You should include your commitment to share your testimony and the Good News with others. If you are a parent, part of your mission is to raise your children to know Messiah, to help them understand His purposes for their lives.

5. What will be the community of my life? This is the question of fellowship. How will you demonstrate your commitment to other believers and connection to God’s family? Where will you practice the “one another” commands with other believers (see the commentary on Romans Af – The List of “one another” Commands)? To which church family will you join and function as a member.³⁹³

The poor desire unfailing kindness, not selfishness (19:22): Sandwiched between ADONAI proverbs (verses 21 and 23), this proverb instructs the son specifically to show unfailing kindness to the needy, and not to be selfish. What a person desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar (19:22 NIV). The first colon states that people desire kindness (see the commentary on Ruth Af – The Concept of Chesed), a term that describes the heart of the covenant relationship. Chesed can refer to either the divine-human or human-human relationship, and it is likely that the latter is meant here. The second colon gives a “better-than” proverb that favors integrity over wealth. Again, it does not demean wealth but just presents relative values. The connection with the first colon would then be a matter of sharpening the focus of covenant love. Chesed entails many virtues, one of which is integrity, faithfulness in the area of relationships. Those in a covenant relationship must stay true to their word. Lying is a fundamental breach of trust, often spoken against in Proverbs (6:16-19, 13:5, 14:5, 25:18).

Conclusion (19:23): The fear of ADONAI leads to life (see Ai – The Fear of ADONAI is the Beginning of Wisdom); one who has it is satisfied and rests untouched by evil (19:23 CJB). It drives out all other fears and leads to life (also see colon 1 of 14:27) and not to death. The specific fear in view in colon 2 seems odd but may be illustrated by a couple of well-known stories in the TaNaKh. In Genesis 9 and in Judges 19, we have stories of travelers who lodge for the evening in a strange town and face incredible evil, even though they have sought refuge in someone’s home. These stories inform us that travel in the ancient world was not a secure matter, and only sure recourse was ADONAI.³⁹⁴