The Single Female Vow
30: 3-5
The single female vow DIG: What would be some of the advantages of a young woman staying at home until she is ready to marry? What is the basic principle concerning vows for single women living under their father’s roof? Why is this principle still valid today?
REFLECT: How do you feel when someone breaks their word to you? Why? Why is speech so powerful? Why is speaking the truth and keeping your word so essential? Why do you think God places so much importance on vows? What does that say about God and His promises?
The principal for today is that single females living under their father’s roof
are to be obedient to their fathers and consult them before making a vow,
because God holds him responsible for what goes on in the family.
The picture the Torah paints is that it was abnormal for a woman of marriageable age to be living independently outside of her father’s house. The Torah ideal is that young women remain in their father’s home and under their father’s protection until marriage. This has obviously been discarded in the modern world with young women working, joining the military, going to college, and so on. Nevertheless, most father’s still “give away” their daughters on their wedding day. In the modern Orthodox Torah movement, many families have rejected the modern model of sending young women off to live on their own at the age of eighteen. Conventions of dating and premarital relationships are also rejected. Instead, young women are remaining within the protection of the family until they are prepared to begin families on their own. Nevertheless, it is preferable for a young woman to remain within a family structure when it is possible. Not only is she protected from unscrupulous men, but she is afforded the opportunity to pursue education or vocation without the burden of establishing a separate home. Of course, many young women will find the Torah’s suggestion untenable.693 Such is life.
What does the Torah say about father’s protecting their daughters? When a woman makes a vow to ADONAI (to see link click Fi – The Fulfillment of Vows and Oaths), formally obligating herself, while she is a young unmarried woman, but of a marriageable age, still living in her father’s house and still under her father’s authority; then, if her father has heard what she vowed or obligated herself to do and raises no objection, then all her vows remain binding – every obligation she has bound herself to will stand. But if on the day her father hears it, he cancels her vow, then none of her vows or obligations she has bound herself to will stand; and ADONAI will forgive her because her father had canceled her vow and God recognized his authority over her.
We know that the Ruach Ha’Kodesh introduces many truths in the TaKaKh and expands on them in the B’rit Chadashah. For example Isaiah introduces us to the Suffering Servant in Isaiah 52:13 to 53:12 and then reveals Yeshua to us in the Gospels through progressive revelation, the teaching that God revealed various aspects of His will and overall plan for humanity over different periods of time, which have been referred to as dispensations (see Genesis Ap – The Dispensations of God). God revealed only certain aspects of Himself and His plan of salvation in each dispensation, with each new dispensation building upon the prior one. In Deuteronomy, we learn that children, in this case a son, are to obey their parents (see Deuteronomy Ds – The Tale of Two Sons: The rebellious son), then the Ruach expands on that truth in the B’rit Chadashah by saying that children are to obey their parents, and parents are to lovingly raise their children with godly discipline and guidance (see Ephesians By – The Responsibilities of Children and Parents).
Therefore, in the Dispensation of Torah (see Exodus Da – The Dispensation of the Torah) the father was to consider the vows she made and decide whether or not to let them stand on the basis of his love for her and his best judgment. His daughter may be called upon to explain the vow or defend it. In some instances, his daughter may actually depend upon her father to release her from a rash vow. If she made the vow unintentionally or it was poorly thought out, he is to come to her rescue by annulling the vow.694 A current example would be if a sixteen-year-old daughter obligates herself to fly to Cancun over their Spring Break with a bunch of her classmates, not knowing it is in Mexico. When the father hears of it, he can express his disapproval and say “no.” But if the father hears of his daughter’s proposed trip and doesn’t say anything, the daughter would assume she had her father’s permission to go. Relationships bring responsibilities, and to rush into unwise commitments is to suffer consequences that can be costly (Proverbs 20:25; Ecc 5:1-6).
Many commentators attribute this mitzvah to an ancient patriarchal culture; however, God’s Word has not changed. The LORD God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it (Gen 2:15). In the same way, the father is to watch over his garden, his family. The idea is that he is looking out for the best interests of his daughter whom he loves and for whom he is held responsible, like Adam, before YHVH. The principle of stewardship over a young woman until she is married teaches us about the character and nature of God. As our loving father, He does not abandon us, casting us out to fend for ourselves. Instead, He watches over us until the day arrives when we are to be joined to our eternal Husband, Messiah Himself.695
Dear Heavenly Father, Praise You for Your awesome love for both men and women, young and old, rich and poor of all nations – Jew and Greek. For you are all sons of God through trusting in Messiah Yeshua. . . There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female – for you are all one in Messiah Yeshua (Galatians 3:26 and 28). Thank You that You do not minimize women but have placed them in the protective care of their fathers until marriage.
How amazing that when someone chooses to trust You as their Lord and Savior (Romans 10:9-11), You make them Your child and You are their Heavenly Father. But whoever did receive Him, those trusting in His name, to these He gave the right to become children of God (John 1:12). You are a wonderful and caring Heavenly Father. What a blessing it is for all, especially females who have no kind earthly father, to have You as their loving Heavenly Father. It is a joy to love You and to live for You in every circumstance, even in hard times (Romans 8:18). Soon the wedding of the Lamb will take place and Your Bride, the Church (Second Corinthians 11:2, Revelation 19:7) will live with you forever in heaven (Revelation 21:3-7)! In Your holy Name and power of His resurrection. Amen
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