The Characteristics of Love
6:11-13 and 7:2-4
Characteristics of love DIG: Why did Paul mention some of the sacrifices he had made? What is Paul asking the Corinthians (and us) to do? Why did some of the Corinthians question Paul’s love for them?
REFLECT: For whom in your life have you failed to show appreciation? How can you show it now? What do you want to incorporate into the way you live from Paul’s perspective? Which of these ten characteristics of love are you best at? Which one(s) do you need to work on?
These characteristics of genuine love are reflections of God’s love for believers.
The most difficult, painful experience for a faithful shepherd is to be misrepresented, to be falsely accused, and to have one’s integrity unfairly attacked. Such assaults have the potential, by destroying people’s trust and confidence in him, of devastating his ministry. Such slanderous attacks are hard to retrieve and correct because those making the claims are not interested in the truth. Nor are they motivated by virtue, love or righteousness; rather, by hatred, revenge, bitterness, jealousy and self-promotion. Gossip mongers of such lies do not seek the unity and blessing of the congregation, the glory of God, or the good of those they attack irregardless of the false claims of piety they profess.
No one endured a more vicious, relentless, and unjust attack than Paul. The Adversary constantly assaulted him. At Corinth, false apostles (to see link click Af – The Problem of the False Apostles) slandered him by spreading lies about him. They sought power, money, prominence, and the opportunity to supplant the truth with their demon doctrines. To accomplish those goals, they had to destroy Paul’s character and teachings by falsely accusing him of being a lying, self-serving hypocrite. The confidence of many of the Corinthians in Paul was affected.
Profoundly concerned, Paul vigorously defended his integrity, not for his own sake, but for the Corinthians’ sake. He was ADONAI’s personally chosen channel through which divine truth flowed to them. To allow the false apostles’ lies to go unchallenged would allow that flow of divine truth to be stopped. Worse, it would allow it to be replaced with false doctrine. Again, here, he reminded them of the integrity he had shown during his long stay with them (Acts 18:11); thus, defending his love for them.
Heading the list of false accusations against Paul was the charge that he had no real affection for the Corinthians. The apostle, according to the false apostles, was abusive, manipulative, and dictatorial; he was merely using the Corinthians to further his own personal agenda. Therefore, Paul repeatedly affirmed his love for the church (2:4, 7:1, 12:15 and 19), and defined the character of his love for them by his actions toward them. In doing so, he provided a clear-cut description of love in action (First Corinthians 13:4-8). As Paul described the essence of what real love is like, he expressed ten characteristics of love.157
1. Honesty (6:11): O Corinthians, we have spoken frankly to you, we have opened our hearts wide. Paul had spoken frankly (candidly or honestly) to the Corinthians because love holds back nothing from the one it loves (Acts:20 and 27; Mt 12:34). First, Paul spoke honestly about God’s Word and God’s standards. Earlier in his letter he defended his truthfulness, reminding the Corinthians, “For we write nothing else to you than what you read and understand by the manifestation of truth commending ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God (1:13 and 4:2). In 4:13 he noted that he spoke the truth because he believed the truth, while in 13:8 he declared: For we can do nothing against the truth, but only for the truth.
Secondly, Paul spoke honestly about sin. Some argue that it is unloving to comfort people about their sin, but Scripture affirms that truth and love are inseparably linked (Ephesians 4:15). Paul lovingly and truthfully presented the gospel to the Corinthians, fully expounding the realities of sin and righteousness. He preached Messiah crucified and all that that implied. He also confronted sin and called for their repentance, and in this letter warned them that he would not spare disciplining them (12:18-13:3). He even challenged them to test the genuineness of their faith (13:5). In 2:9 he explained his motive in writing the painful letter (2:4) that he sent them between First and Second Corinthians, “For to this end I also wrote, so that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things” (7:8-10 NASB).
Finally, Paul spoke honestly about his affections toward the Corinthians. He loved them intensely, as the eloquent expression O Corinthians indicates. Paul’s heart was open wide (Greek: peplatuntai, meaning to make broad) to them (6:11); he had been open, candid and vulnerable (4:2). The expression also means that there was plenty of room in his heart for them; in 7:3 he told them, “You are in our hearts.” That Paul could have them in his heart after all the sorrow they had caused him proved his love was genuine (12:14-15).
2. Affection (6:12): Any restraint you feel has not been imposed by us, but by your own inner selves. Paul had not done anything to cause any estrangement or hinder the relationship between them. On the contrary, they had restrained their affections towards him. A number of them had shut the apostle out of their lives and closed their hearts to him. They had believed the lies about Paul and turned away from him to follow the false apostles. Consequently, they had left their affection for him.
Dear Heavenly Father, Praise Your love that is always so very deep and caring for me. How wonderful that Your love opens the doors of heaven to all who choose to love You as Lord and Savior, for there is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor freeman, neither male nor female, for in union with Messiah Yeshua, you are all one (Galatians 3:28). Even the angels in heaven rejoice when they see how great Your love is to forgive repentant sinners. In the same way, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents (Luke 15:10). Thank You, for the demonstration of great love that the father shows to his prodigal son when the son returns home in repentance. And he got up and went to his own father. But while he was still far away, his father saw him and felt compassion. He ran and fell on his neck and kissed him (Luke 15:21).
How hard it must be for You dear Father, when people choose to love things more than You. You have such a gracious and generous heart and so want to reward your children. It is so important to spend time worshiping and praising You. It must hurt you when those who call themselves your children spend so little time talking to You and so much time busying themselves with other things. I choose to show You my love by praising You often and using my time, money and thoughts to honor You. In the holy name of Your Son, Yeshua and the power of His resurrection. Amen
The Corinthians’ rejection hurt Paul deeply. Yet, despite that, he never lost his affection for them because true love covers all things (see the commentary on First Corinthians Df – Love Covers All Things) and endures all things (see the commentary on First Corinthians Di – Love Endures All Things). That does not mean, of course, that Paul tolerated their sin and error. He disciplined and corrected them when necessary, but that reflected his true love for them. Love and discipline are inseparable even with ADONAI (see the commentary on Hebrews Cz – God Disciplines His Children).
3. Fellowship (6:13 and 7:2a): In like exchange, (I speak to you as children) open wide your hearts too . . . make room for us in your hearts. Few things in life are more painful than unanswered love, because love longs for a response. Paul’s words here express the penetrating sadness he felt over the Corinthians’ failure to return his love. Though they broke his heart, Paul’s love for the Corinthians would not allow him to abandon them. Instead, he pleaded with them, using the phrase in like exchange (Greek autos, literally in an exchange that is exact). Paul begged them to love him as he loved them – sacrificially, consistently, and permanently. He could speak to them as children because they were spiritual children (First Cor 4:14-15). Here is a tender, almost melancholy scene. The noble apostle did not hesitate to plead for the love of the most troubled of his churches. He was not too proud to open up his heart and let them see that he was hurting.
Then he reached out to them again, pleading: Make room for us in your hearts (7:2a). Having reminded them that his heart was wide open to them, Paul begged the Corinthians to make room in their hearts for him. The apostle knew that as long as they clung to their sinful associations with his enemies, their love relationship with him could not be restored. That made it all the more urgent for them to follow his instructions and sever all ties with the false apostles (see Bi – Do Not be Unequally Yoked with Unbelievers).
4. Purity (7:2b): We haven’t wronged anyone, we haven’t corrupted anyone. Paul’s claim is especially appropriate in light of his call to separate from unbelievers. Despite the false charges leveled against him (4:2), Paul had wronged no one. Those who made that charge may have had in mind Paul’s turning the incestuous man over to Satan (see the commentary on First Corinthians Ba – Failure to Discipline an Immoral Brother). But the apostle didn’t mistreat him, but rather properly dealt with his sin. Actually, it was the Corinthians who had wronged Paul; he had neither wronged nor corrupted any of them. Again, it was not Paul, but his opponents who were guilty of ruining the Corinthians’ morals (11:3). Paul’s love for the Corinthians expressed itself both in his own purity and his concern for theirs.
5. Humility (7:2c): We haven’t exploited anyone (Greek: pleonekteo). Love necessarily involves humility, for only humble people can love unselfishly. Proud people who love themselves cannot love others. Pleonekteo refers to defrauding others by selfishly using them for gain. Specifically, it conveys the idea of manipulating people for financial gain as its use in 12:17-18 indicated. Neither Paul nor anyone associated with him took advantage of the Corinthians financially, despite the repeated accusations by the false apostles.
In fact, the opposite was true. Rather than using the Corinthians for personal gain, Paul sacrificially endured suffering and hardship for them, “For we who are alive are always being handed over to death for Yeshua’s sake, so that Yeshua’s life also might be manifested in our mortal bodies. Thus death is at work in us but life in you” (4:11-12). Paul’s love for the Corinthian believers was so great that he was willing to risk his own life for them (John 15:13). His humble, self-sacrificing love was not selfish (see the commentary on First Corinthians Db – Love is not Selfish). He did not merely look out for his own personal interests, but for the interests of others (Philippians 2:4).158
6. Forgiveness (7:3a): I am not saying this to condemn (Greek: katharsis) you. Paul didn’t want the Corinthians to interpret his strong defense of his integrity as an attack on them. Catharsis refers to passing final judgment. Paul was not passing a final verdict on them; he was not giving up on them. He did not want to sever his relationship with them, but restore it. So he rebuked their sin and rebellion and called for them to repent and reaffirm their loyalty to him, and thus to the Lord. Paul knew the truth that Solomon expressed: Faithful are the wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6). Paul was an example of genuine biblical love, which keeps no records of wrongs (First Cor 13:5d), because love covers a multitude of sins (First Peter 4:8).
7. Loyalty (7:3b): For I have already said that you have a place in our hearts, whether we live together or die together. Paul’s declaration: you have a place in our hearts repeats his thought from 6:11. The phrase whether we live together or die together reflects Paul’s undying loyalty to the Corinthians. The idea is that their friendship would last throughout this life and keep them together even through death because their relationship would transcend death and last forever in the glory of heaven. Paul’s love was loyal to the death, like that of Ruth, who said to Naomi, “Don’t press me to leave you and stop following you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God. Where you die, I will die; and there I will be buried. May ADONAI bring terrible curses on me, and worse ones as well, if anything but death separates you and me” (Ruth 1:16-17).
8. Trust (7:4a): I am very confident in you. At first glance, this is an astonishing, even shocking statement. The Corinthian church was a mess. More than any other church in the B’rit Chadashah. Certainly, then, Paul’s great trust and confidence in the Corinthians was not based on their track record. In fact, their actions called for cautious scrutiny, not open confidence. But true love covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things (1 Cor 13:7). That does not, of course, reflect the modern myth that positive thought makes good things happen. Paul’s hope was not that a positive attitude would change the Corinthians. True biblical love does not make good things happen, but it believes and hopes for them. Therefore, despite their unfaithfulness, disloyalty and sin. Paul maintained his confidence in the Corinthians – not because of them, but because he knew that ADONAI would complete the saving work He had begun in them (Phil 1:6).
9. Praise (7:4b): Great is my boasting (Greek: kauchesis) on your behalf. That Paul would engage in boasting on behalf of a church filled with immaturity, disloyalty, doubt, and disaffection is amazing. Nevertheless, he praised them. Though kauchesis can have the negative connotation of pride (Romans 3:27; James 4:16), it more often has the positive connotation of praise, as it does here (Second Corinthians 7;14; 8:24, 11:10; Romans 15:17; First Corinthaisn 1:31). Proper boasting is that which is done in the Lord (Second Corinthians 10:17; First Corinthians 1;31), and Paul’s praise was of what the Lord was doing in the Corinthian church. He boasted about the Corinthians to other churches (8:24). Paul was eager to praise the Lord for them in spite of their shortcomings. That’s true love.
10. Joy (7:4c): You have filled me with encouragement; and that in spite of all our troubles, I am overflowing with joy. Even more surprising that Paul’s trust and praise for the Corinthians was that they brought him joy. Despite all the problems they caused him, Paul used the perfect tense of a verb (meaning an action in the past with continuing results) to say that he had been, and still was, filled with encouragement. No amount of troubles could stem the overflowing joy he felt.
These ten characteristics of genuine love are reflections of God’s love for you. He loves you enough to be honest and has a deep affection for you so that He is grieved when sin disrupts our fellowship with Him. His love for you also causes Him to desire your purity (Titus 2:14). Because of that, the Lord Yeshua Messiah humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:8), so you could be forgiven. His love also ensures God’s eternal loyalty to you (Hebrews 13:5), and causes Him to trust you with the Good News (1 Thessalonians 2:4). And ADONAI loves you, takes pride in you, and takes joy in you (Psalm 149:4; Zeph 3:17). And taking Paul as our model, you are to love others the way God loves you.159
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