Dz – Wisdom for Women 31: 10-31

Wisdom for Women
31: 10-31

A proverb is a short and memorable saying designed to be our blueprint for living in the world that ADONAI has created. It is important to note that proverbs are not promises; they are generally true principles, all other things being equal.

The book of Proverbs ends with this poem about wives of noble character. A careful reading shows that her value is derived from her character of godly wisdom, which is beneficial to her family and to her community as a whole. This poem reminds us of the role that women play in Proverbs and is written from the perspective of her husband. That this poem concludes the book and helps to explain why, in the Hebrew canon, Proverbs is followed by Ruth (who herself is called a noble woman in Ruth 3:11). She is a woman who is defined not just by her actions but also by her attitudes. She is confident in the present and in the future because her confidence rests in her wisdom. She knows how to stay out of trouble through preparations such as making warm clothes in anticipation of winter. Her industry frees her husband up for tasks important to his life. While she is taking care of the home front, he is at the gate, the place where town leaders gather to decide on the important matters affecting the whole community. This is an acrostic poem, the verses of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

According to tradition, Proverbs 31:10-31 were originally created by Abraham in memory of his wife Sarah. Later usages of this passage in Jewish mysticism allude to Shabbat as a queen (a concept designed to bring reverence to the Sabbath), who is welcomed into the home. In contemporary Judaism, these verses are read at the Shabbat table every Friday evening, usually by man in honor of his wife. These praises praise the virtuous woman, indeed all women who shine the light of ADONAI through their actions.⁵⁷¹

Alef: Who can find a wife of noble character? She is worth far more than precious jewels (31:10 Hebrew). The climax of the book of Proverbs is a poem of the ideal woman. The word noble (Hebrew: chayil) has military overtones, but is not restricted to military use. The basic meaning of the term is strength and power. But in her strength, she is not competing with her husband. She is not going through an identity crisis over sexual politics. She is beyond that. She is giving herself away to her family and her community with wholehearted selflessness. She has high standards and sticks to them. The question: who can find? Underscores the rarity, and therefore the preciousness, of such a woman. The second colon emphasizes this by asserting that her worth exceeds that of precious jewels.⁵⁷²

Bet: Her husband trusts his heart to her, and he will have no lack of gain (31:11 Hebrew). Her husband does not maintain a jealous guard over his wife, or keep his valuables locked up so she cannot access them, as was a common ancient practice in a house of distrust. The wise woman is faithful to her marriage vows, demonstrates impeccable loyalty to her husband, and is prudent with the family finances. As a result, her husband has complete trust in her.⁵⁷³ The word translated gain means loot, plunder, or spoils of war. Why this wording? Because life is a struggle. This woman is not living in a perfect environment where life is a breeze. She is living in the real world, and she is up to the challenge. No wonder her husband trusts her. He feels honored to be her husband. This woman that God gave him is his greatest earthly treasure. In fact, there is only one Person this husband trusts more than his wife, and that is ADONAI Himself. She has won a deep place in his heart and he cherishes her.⁵⁷⁴

Gimel: She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life (31:12 NLT). This poem continues to describe the benefits that the woman of noble character brings to her husband. In this case, the statement is general. As long as she lives, she will bring him good and not evil things. Good things and evil things can encompass a wide variety of moral and material blessings, some of which will be explained in the verses to come.

Dalet: She finds wool and flax and works with willing hands (31:13 BSB). The woman is not stuck at home, but goes out into the public square, the market, in order to obtain the materials that she needs. We presume that she needs the wool and flax in order to make the clothes described in the following verses. The second colon informs us that she not only does the labor, but she also does it joyfully.

He: She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar (31:14 NLT). A merchant ship buys and sells. It sets out from one port to deliver goods needed there and then picks up and delivers other goods needed at the home port. The woman of noble character works with her hands to produce products she can sell in the public market, and then buys food and brings it back to sustain her household.⁵⁷⁵

Vav: She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plans the day’s work for her servant girls (31:15 NLT). To accomplish all that she does, this woman doesn’t get much sleep. She gets up early, and we will discover that she goes to bed late in verse 18. She is selfless in serving her household, starting her day early on behalf of others, and is generous with those who help her – even her servant girls. Notice there is no hint of a grudging attitude in her selfless service toward others in her household.

Zayin: She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard (31:16 Hebrew). Women in the ancient world were typically not involved in business transactions, yet this wise woman transcends cultural expectations in service to her family. The Hebrew word consider implies careful thought and advance planning. She is not shopping for shopping’s sake; rather, she has her eyes set on the future. She’s not an impulse shopper, but she gives thorough consideration to her finances and searches out the most profitable purchases for her family’s long-term benefit.

Chet: She is energetic and strong (Exodus 12:11; Second Kings 4:29 and 9:1; Dani’el 10:5), a hard worker (31:17 NLT). This wise woman is not soft, for the work she does vigorously and with zeal has made her strong. It is a simple maxim that we accomplish more when we work with effort. In this way the woman of noble character is contrasted with the lazy person.

Tet: She knows when to buy or sell, and she stays busy until late at night (31:18 CEV). The wise woman takes pride in all the labors of her hands and strives toward excellence in all she does. There is no sense here that she considers any labor menial or that she expects the praises of others for all her hard work. She regards excellence for her family as enough of a reward in itself. We were told earlier that she works hard and does not sleep much, getting up before dawn (verse 15), and here we see the flip side of that, since the text tells us that she also stays up late at night.

Yod: Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber (31:19 NLT). On the surface of it, this verse returns us to the woman’s ability to make clothing. These were parts of the loom, used for spinning thread and making garments. The woman of noble character; therefore, takes responsibility for the clothing and appearance of her family.

Chaf: She extends her palm to the poor (11:24, 28:27, 29:7 and 14) and reaches out her hands to the needy (31:20 Hebrew). The wise woman pours herself out in service to her family, but she also finds the time to reach out to the poor outside of her own home. The verbs extend and reach out emphasize that this is a deliberate effort, not an afterthought. She can afford to be concerned for others because she has already made provision for herself and her family. The emphasis on her household in these verses, however, suggests that her family’s needs come first.⁵⁷⁶

Lamed: She has no fear of the winter, for everyone in her household has warm clothes (31:21 NLT). As we learn at the end of this poem, this wise woman’s only fear is ADONAI (verse 30). The fear of ADONAI drives out all other fears. Specifically, the woman is not afraid of the weather because she prepares for it. It is not unusual for it to snow in the central hill country of Isra’el, though not frequently. But even though not frequent, the wise woman is ready, having already made warm clothes for all the members of her household.

Mem: She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns (31:22 NLT). This is the first time we read the wise woman had done anything for herself. Purple gowns required expensive dyes and were usually worn only by royalty. The wise woman thus uses her own efforts to gather and create the very best for her family, clothing them like kings and queens. These materials point to significant wealth.

Nun: Her husband is well known at the city gate, where he sits among the elders of the Land (31:23 Hebrew). This verse describes the important status and function of the woman’s husband. He is a leader in the community. That he sits with the elders at the gate indicates that he is an elder himself. The gates of the city were the public meeting area and served as a kind of city hall. There the elders would make decisions and render judgments that affected the whole city. The implication is that her husband can achieve such a significant role only with the support of his wife. She takes care of the household while he works in the community. Her reputation also enhances his.

Samech: She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes (31:24 BSB). With all her other responsibilities faithfully taken care of, the woman of noble character helps support the family by making linen garments for the purposes of trade.

Ayin: She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future (31:25 NLT). A number of the verses of this poem describe the woman’s facility at making clothes for herself, her household, and for sale. Perhaps this is what has suggested the more figurative use here. She conducts and carries herself as though clothed in strength and dignity. Since clothing may display style and status, her demeanor displays strength and dignity. People who looked at her would recognize these qualities in her. The second colon might then be seen as a particular feature of her strength and honor. The future is unknown. But the one thing everyone knows about the future is that it will bring difficulties and obstacles. Yet in spite of that knowledge, she is fearless because of her wisdom, which implies a relationship with ADONAI. The fear of ADONAI will sustain her (to see link click Ai – The Fear of ADONAI is the Beginning of Wisdom).

Pe: When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with chesed (31:26 NLT). Like her divine counterpart, Lady Wisdom, the noble woman’s speech is soaked with wisdom (Bj – Lady Wisdom’s Call). Wise speech is a broad category, but it would include words that are godly, righteous, and also a blueprint for living. She would impart lifesaving advice for those who would listen to her. The second colon also praises her speech as that which is characterized as instruction (from torah) of chesed (see Ruth Af – The Concept of Chesed). Her kind words reflect the covenant between God and His people.

Tzadi: She is a lookout post over the affairs of her household and does not suffer from laziness (31:27 Hebrew): The woman is upright as she looks out for the needs of her household. She may not be worried about the future (verse 25), but that does not mean that she takes a “hands-off” attitude toward it. A person high up in the lookout post would need the qualities of great diligence and observation. Ezeki’el understood his role as watchman (see Ezeki’el Di – The Prophet as a Watchman). By now we are far from surprised about the information provided to us in the second colon. The woman of noble character was definitely not lazy.⁵⁷⁷

Right now some of us men might be feeling, “I haven’t trusted and valued and affirmed my wife as she deserves.” Let’s talk about that, because the primary message here in the book of Proverbs is for us husbands and husbands-to-be, which includes nearly all of us men. What does the word “husband” mean? We have a related English word “husbandry,” that is, cultivation. And when the word “husband” is used as a verb, it means to cultivate. If you are a husband, your job is to cultivate, to nurture your wife. Your life-time impact on your wife should be that her life opens up more and more, and she is enabled to become all that God wants her to be. ADONAI is calling you, as her husband, to care for her so that in her later years she will be thinking, “What a great life I’ve had! My husband understood me. He cared for me. He inspired me to grow in Messiah.” How does a husband do that? Not by criticizing his wife – God doesn’t treat us that way – by encouraging her.

Kof: Her children stand and bless her; her husband praises her (31:28 NLT). Her children rise up, they stand up, and they speak respectfully to their mom. They tell her why they esteem her, why they admire her as a woman of God. Where did the children learn that? From dad . . . “he praises her” (31:28). The key word from verses 28 to 31 is praise. It appears three times. A husband cultivates his wife by setting an example and praising her in their home. No putdowns. No fault-finding. No insults. Not even neutral silence. But rather bright, positive, life-giving praise. The picture here is of the woman of noble character giving herself to her family and to others, and she is receiving praise from her husband and children at home and from her community at the gates. ADONAI wants us to fill our homes and congregations with this beautiful wisdom, where men are not passive, but overtly cultivating the excellence of their wives, and women are thriving.

Resh: What is it that the husband says? There are many noble and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all (31:29 NLT)! How does your wife excel? Tell her. Tell her in front of the children. Have a conversation at the dinner table tonight . . . and tomorrow night. And if you can’t think of any way in which your wife excels and truly deserves to be praised, then that’s your fault, because God called you to husband her into excellence.

Men, this is not a pep talk. This is the Word of God. How you see God will inevitably show up in how you treat your family. You can fake it at work, but can’t fake it at home. How you really see God will show up in how you treat your wife. A. W. Tozer (1897-1963) wrote, “The essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him.” If your concept of God is beneath who He really is, then you will have unworthy thoughts about your wife and unworthy words to her. And the problem is not her. The root problem is, your Yeshua is not the real Yeshua. If you cannot bring yourself to praise your wife and you live with her in silent, sullen, defeated mediocrity, there is a reason. The reason is how you see Messiah. It may be that you have no complaints about Him. He may seem to you a pleasant Savior. But if you have no passion for Him, it’s because you don’t see in Him a mighty passion for you, and a mighty salvation for you, and a glorious future for you. That vision of Messiah is unworthy of Him. The truth is, the Lord Yeshua Messiah is a glorious Savior. Believe it. See Him in His grace and glory towards you, rejoicing over you with all His mighty heart. It will change how you treat your wife . . . and a lot more.

Men, let’s repent of our silence and the sin of withheld love. Have we robbed our families of the love they deserve? Have we truly and worthily represented Messiah to our families? Or have we, in effect, denied the Word of God in our homes? And here is a basic principle for men: If we don’t get radical, nothing will ever change. Messiah got radical for us at the cross, and it changed everything forever. And He put you with your wife because He loves her. So get radical, start changing, begin a new tradition in your home, starting today. If you step out in new obedience, the Lord will help you. And your family will rejoice over you.⁵⁷⁸

Shin: The husband continues the praise of his wife. Charm is deceptive and beauty meaningless, but a woman who fears ADONAI will be greatly praised (31:30 Hebrew). This verse puts things in perspective. People, and men in particular (let’s be honest here guys), are typically attracted to superficial attributes, like beauty, figure, and charm. However, charm may hide a nasty personality, and beauty is meaningless unless it is also accompanied by godliness. Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout, is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion (11:22 Hebrew). The common experience shows that the futility of physical beauty in large part derives from its relative brevity. This verse does not mean that this wise woman is abrasive and ugly, it simply contrasts these relatively worthless traits of charm and beauty with what is truly important: fear of ADONAI. This is true of all people, male and female, but here there is a reminder that a woman who deserves to be called noble is motivated by a proper relationship with her God.

Tav: Giver her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates (31:31 ESV). Such a woman deserves reward, and the final verse of the poem calls for it. She should benefit from her hard work. She should also be praised both at home and in public.⁵⁷⁹