Fn – The Vows of a Married Woman 30: 10-15

The Vows of a Married Woman
30: 10-15

The vows of a married woman DIG: Why do you think ADONAI places so much importance on vows? What does this say about God and His promises? About human failure and our promises? As believers, how does breaking or keeping our vows reflect on ADONAI?

REFLECT: How do you feel when someone breaks their word to you? Why? Why is speech so powerful? Why is speaking the truth and keeping your word so essential? How are you doing with keeping your vows? How can God’s Word help you overcome any excuses?

The principle for today is that married women are to submit to their husbands,
because God holds him responsible for what goes on in their marriage.

We know that the Ruach Ha’Kodesh introduces many truths in the TaKaKh and expands on them in the B’rit Chadashah. For example Isaiah introduces us to the Suffering Servant in Isaiah 52:13 to 53:12 and then reveals Yeshua to us in the Gospels through progressive revelation, the teaching that God revealed various aspects of His will and overall plan for humanity over different periods of time, which have been referred to as dispensations (see the commentary on Genesis, to see link click Ap – The Dispensations of God). God revealed only certain aspects of Himself and His plan of salvation in each dispensation, with each new dispensation building upon the prior one.

First, in 30:10-12, we see voiding without penalty: If a woman vowed in her husband’s house or obligated herself with an oath (see Fi – The Fulfillment of Vows and Oaths); and her husband heard it but raised no objection and did not express disapproval, then all her vows and obligations will stand. But if her husband makes them null and void on the day he hears them, then whatever she said, vows or binding obligation, will not stand; her husband has voided them; and ADONAI will release her.

Secondly, in 30:13-15, we see voiding with penalty. Her husband may let every vow and every binding obligation stand, or he may void it. But if her husband raises no objection with her day after day, then he confirms all her vows and obligations; he must let them stand, because he said nothing on the day he heard them. However, if he makes them null and void after first hearing of them, then he will bear the consequent guilt. That is, after an indeterminate period, the vow was in force and could only be nullified by an appropriate blood sacrifice (see Leviticus Al – The Purification Offering: Purified by Blood).⁶⁹⁸

Then the Ruach expands on that truth in the B’rit Chadashah. For example, the inspired Apostle Paul tells the Ephesian women to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Messiah is the head of the Church (see the commentary on Ephesians Bw – The Role and Priorities of the Wife). Similarly, Paul tells the married women of Colossae to submit to their husbands, as is fitting in the Lord (Colossians 3:18). In Titus, he encourages the young married women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the Word of God will not be dishonored (Titus 2:4-5). Simon Peter also instructs married women, “Be submissive to your own husbands” (First Peter 3:1). The biblical position on family hierarchy is unanimous.

We have no problem with our country having a president,
we have no problem with states having governors,
we have no problem with cities having mayors,
we have no problem with companies having CEO’s.
We have no problem with headship in any of these areas,
because we recognize the fact that to function,
there has to be headship and submission.
But then we come to marriage, as God has given us marriage,
with headship and submission, we say . . . no, not there.
It seems today that we have a problem with God given headship.

The real question we should be asking ourselves is, “Why do we have a problem with masculine headship?” The answer is that men have abused their authority. Being fallen and imperfect, we know of endless examples of bad husbands and fathers who have lorded over their wives and children and treated them badly. Such a man is no more biblical than a woman who is openly defiant to her husband.

The Torah model is a husband who loves his wife. Paul tells us that men are to emulate the Messiah in their love for their wives. He says: Husbands are to love their wives as Messiah loved the Church and gave Himself up for her (see Ephesians Bx – The Role and Priorities of the Husband). This is sacrificial love. There is no bullying, there is no forced submission. Instead, the biblical husband is to nourish and cherish his wife. One cannot cherish a person and at the same time disregard their wishes and opinions. Messiah-like headship is defined as servant-hood. Lording it over another person is something that the Master ascribes to the ways of pagans. His disciples are to demonstrate leadership through their humble service. You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave – just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Paul encourages married men to love their wives and do not be embittered against them (Colossians 3;19). Again, the key is in the word “love” (First Corinthians 13:4-7).

It is particularly important that we notice that the Apostolic writers never commanded husbands to “make your wives submit to you.” The mitzvah of submitting to one’s husband belongs solely to the woman. It is the wife’s mitzvah, not the husbands. A husband need not fret that his wife is not submitting to him. That is her business, not his. The Bible does not give a man license to force his wife to obey him. She is his partner, not his servant. A man who does not show his wife the dignity of being his fellow heir will not even be heard by heaven. Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered (First Peter 3:7). A brutish man or harsh authoritarian man that does not live with his wife “in an understanding way” is not worthy of even having his prayers answered. After all, he does not listen to his wife’s entreaties, so why should God listen to him?

Thus, we learn that the biblical principles of headship and submission within the home depend upon a godly man who conducts himself according to the highest standards of Torah and discipleship (see the commentary on Genesis Bf – Your Desire Will Be for Your Husband, and He Will Rule Over You). A home ruled by the iron fist of a harsh authoritarian is not worthy of the name of Messiah.⁶⁹⁹

Dear Heavenly Father, praise You for being so wise and loving in all You do, including Your guidelines for marriage relationships. Though You have placed the married man as head over his wife. Ephesians 5:21-23 says: Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Messiah is the head of the Church, His Body, of which He is the Savior. Therefore, vows that would affect the marriage need to be communicated to the husband because he is responsible for what goes on in the family. Thank You for being the perfect Husband for Your Bride, the Church (2 Corinthians 11:2). Your Bride waits in eager anticipation for the marriage supper of the lamb (Rev 19:6-10). In Messiah Yeshua’s holy Name and power of His resurrection. Amen